I’ve been thinking a lot about my strengths and also the shadow side of those strengths. I’ll give you an example – 

I am a goal-oriented person. I take my commitments very seriously; once I’m in, there’s no going back. At the start of the year, my yoga studio ran a fun little contest to see who would come 15 times in the month of January. The prize was a t-shirt if you did it. I decided I was in, and I was the first one to fill in my card. I will wear my shirt with equal parts of pride and amusement that I took the whole thing so seriously. 

This may at first read like a brag. I mean, don’t we all value and respect people who keep their word? But there’s a shadow side to this strength – I get a little compulsivey about things once I commit to them. Not truly “compulsive,” but let’s say overly committed to the goal. I think about it and plan around it. I schedule my days around it while simultaneously reminding myself that goals like the yoga challenge aren’t really a big deal (because they’re not! but I will, by God, get that t-shirt). 

For these reasons, I choose my goals carefully. In my younger years, I chose goals that were “good for me” – productivity-related goals to get more things done. They were goals for things I felt like I “should be doing”. There’s a time and a place for those goals, but my experience is that they tend to irritate me: I feel compelled to do them, but they don’t make me happy. 

Now I try to use my commitment to commitments for good. I make goals around journaling, going outside, blogging, or just quiet and peaceful space. If I’m going to overenthusiastically overcommit to something, I want it to be something I really want to do. Something that lines up with my values and aspirations.

What’s another example of a superpower you have that also has a shadow side? And how have you learned to channel that power for good in your life?